Top Ten Things the Utes Must do to Beat BYU...

10. Dennis Pita and His Wife Need to go on A Couple's Mission:

The Utes need to get U of U Alumnus President Thomas S. Monson to call the Pita's on an immediate couple's mission to Fiji...

9. Have Mountain West Conference Commissioner Craig Thompson Arrange BYU's Travel Arrangements to Saturday's Big Game:

(He'll handle the travel arrangements just as well as he handled the TV deals for the MTN Network). "Ummm, well, sorry Coach Mendenhall, I know your game starts at 4:00pm, but hey, the bus will get here sometime, don't worry, it's only 3:30pm, there's still time! Besides it doesn't matter when it gets here, just as long as it eventually gets here, right?"

8. Send a Freshman Punter to BYU Practice to Have Him Tonya Harding Max Hall:

I doubt you'd hear Max Hall screaming "Why, Why, Why..." instead I think you'd only hear the sound of some Fui and Unga pounding the Freshman Punter into the ground, but hey that's what Freshman players are for right?

7. Send The BYU Football Team Some Caffeinated Soft Drinks Before the Game as a Sign of Good Will:

The unaccustomed caffeine rush may give them some advantageous energy in the first half, but by halftime the Cougs will be purring from the sudden crash they'll receive once the caffeine runs out.

6. Exorcise the Ghosts of 4th and Goal and 4th and 18:

Despite what Greg Wrubell says, Harlin and Collie are not still open. The Utes better make sure they bring the heat and stick to the BYU receivers.

5. Bring Ron McBride Back as a Lucky Rabbit's Foot:

No Utah coach was better at beating the Zoo than Ronnie Mac. Bring him back for this game and let him stand on the sidelines for good luck. Let players rub his head, etc. His magic will rub off.

4. Pay Jim McMahon to Take the BYU Football Team out for a "Legacy" Night on the Town the Night Before the Game:

I'm sure he would only take them to places approved by the Honor Code...


3. Gently Remind Tom Holmoe That BYU will get at least $1 Million if the Utes Win:

Each team from a conference that sends a representative to a BCS Bowl receives at least $1 Million from the BCS Bowl TV Deals. I'm sure BYU put their $1 Million to good use the last time Utah went to a BCS Bowl game. I'm sure if Utes win this year a nice Jumbo Tron for BYU's practice facility may be in order... Come on Holmoe, remind Mendenhall that Gaskins really is better than Max Hall...

2. Book Gary Crowton to Give the Pre-Game Speech in the BYU Locker Room:

Do I really need to explain how this would help Utah win? :)

1. Play Tough D Against the Run and Don't Turn the Ball Over:

If the Utes want to go to a BCS Game they have to stop the run and make Max Hall beat them. It sounds silly because Hall is REALLY good, but if you take away BYU's ability to run you can force BYU to be one dimensional which will allow for pressure on the QB. Besides that, if Utah can stop the run they will be able to keep more backers in the secondary to cover Collie and Pita, which will put pressure on Hall to find other options, which he hasn't been very good at this season. More importantly though, the Utes cannot turn the ball over. They have to take advantage of every drive they have and they can't afford to give BYU the ball with a short field. BYU is an excellent team in the red zone, so the Utes cannot give them the ball via turnovers deep in their own territory. If the Utes can eliminate BYU's running game, and move the ball without turnovers they should be fast and physical enough to create an outcome similar to the BYU - TCU game. That's easier said than done though. This is going to be a physical game, with big plays, momentum shifts and fighting down to the last snap. Both teams are excellent this year, but here's my prediction:

UTAH: 34

BYU: 24

GO UTES!!!