The Quarnberg Family: Mission Revisited: March 1999

February in the MTC had been a little rough on me. I had struggled with the language, and had really gotten pretty down on myself. In March things were still tough but my outlook was getting a little better. It's funny, when I read my early journal entries I get mad at myself for complaining so much! If I had known then what I had waiting for me in Switzerland I wouldn't have complained so much! I think I needed the MTC trials though to test my metal and get me ready for the daily rigors of proselyting in Europe. You can tell from the entry below that I had to reassure myself quite a bit, but deep down, I knew that I belonged there and knew that the MTC was truly a place of spiritual molding. Without it, I would have never been as motivated as I was once I got into the field. The journal entry below is from early in March. Enjoy!

3/9/1999 MTC in Provo, UT:

Well today has really been a fun day! I love Tuesdays because we have a service project and we also have Tuesday night devotionals which really lift the spirit (plus the devotionals keep the classes short!).

I love the classes and love learning about missionary work, but honestly sometimes it's nice to get a little break from the classes! This place can at times feel like a spiritual prison, and yes there are days when I really love it here, but there are also times when I wish I wasn't going to Switzerland and instead was going to an English speaking mission because if I was, I would be leaving here tomorrow!

I honestly am still struggling with the language and sometimes I just feel like some things about it will never click, but I know if I keep the faith, good things will happen.

At our devotional tonight we had a member of the Quorum of the Seventy come and talk to us. Elder Dilinbaugh was his name. He told us a little about his experience back when he went on a mission. Back then, there was no MTC, there were no discussions, you simply went to a foreign country for 2 and 1/2 years with nothing but your testimony and you learned the rest there! He learned the German language and had a very successful mission. It was inspiring to me!

I truly know that the Lord has called me to work in the Zurich Switzerland mission for a reason. Fate really isn't fate, it's the Lord's will coming to pass, and I love it. I keep reminding myself to never question the Lord. He knows every living being better than they know themselves! I believe this because I know he knows what's right for me, I have felt it.

Despite this though, right now, 2 years seems like an eternity. Every pretty girl I see makes me think about home, dating and how much I miss it all. Yet, at the same time, "the days seem like weeks and the weeks seem like days." That is so true! I'm already in the middle of the 4th week out of 10 and it really seems like I just got here. I honestly don't know quite how to describe it, it's just very interesting I guess.

I know that I haven't developed a real love for missionary work yet because I haven't really done any yet. All I've done is study German and read the scriptures. I'm not saying that those 2 things are bad things to do, but they really are all that I've done so far. It's a little hard to do that so much without having some relaxation time in between.

This gospel is true, I know it, and that knowledge and my family's support keep me here. Someday if I keep the faith I'll be standing in a baptismal font in Switzerland with a great family who is getting ready to be baptized into the only true church in this world! That's my goal, if I keep the faith who knows what will happen.